It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
NoShamevember. You game?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Randomize
