Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
