Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
