Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
