youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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