1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize