Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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