am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize