OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We are two peas in an std pod
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
