Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
