Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
