This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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