I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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