I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
