Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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