the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
