He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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