Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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