Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
