He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
