Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
