what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
