I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
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and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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