I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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