The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
