I love black thongs
if i died would you start the facebook group?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
this will be a night to untag.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
