Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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