Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
