"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Come see our sink grown plant.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
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I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
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