oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
