well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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