Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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