***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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