I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
