PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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