Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
