I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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