What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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