Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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