honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
