...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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