I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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