I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
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