I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize