I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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