is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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