No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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