I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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