I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
