frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
