Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
