a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
