walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
