is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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