apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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