I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
birth control should be required to get into college
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
