pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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