yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
