Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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