Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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