You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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