I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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