It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
