lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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