thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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