I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm bleeding and have questions
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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