Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
