we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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