Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
there is glitter all over my balls
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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