That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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