I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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